April 08, 2022 9 min read
Have you ever been so drained that you felt stressed and out of control of your emotions and yelled at your kids? Surely, we all want a peaceful home, but how do parents avoid yelling at kids and have kids listen and be cooperative?
If this is something that bothers you today, you are not alone. In fact, almost all parents have at one point already yelled at their child in anger for not listening or misbehaving in some manner.
And the feeling of frustration and guilt feels heavy in our hearts after we did what we must have avoided. Because only then we realize that our yelling could just worsen the situation or could cause our child to misbehave and disrespect us even more.
Yelling is a very emotional and unproductive way to communicate. It is a negative behavior that can lead to more yelling or other negative behaviors. Yelling is often a result of frustration, but it does not help the situation.
There are many reasons why yelling is an unproductive way of communicating. The main reason is that it is not a respectful way to communicate.
When we yell, it sends the message that we are angry, frustrated or desperate and this can create more tension in the conversation. In these situations, your child may respond by either getting defensive or shutting down which can make the situation worse.
Imagine yourself getting yelled at by your boss when at work. What do you think could be your possible reactions? In your sane state, you know that you would positively respond if things are communicated to you in a nice way isn’t it? And it’s no different with our children.
Children are a blessing. They are also a handful. And it is not always easy to raise them. So,
The following section is an excerpt from Dr. Laura Markham’s book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How To Stop Yelling And Start Connecting.
Yelling at your kids is never a good idea. It teaches them that anger is the way to solve problems and it makes them feel scared and anxious. But sometimes we all yell, especially when we are tired or frustrated or feeling out of control.
Dr. Laura Markham shares her thoughts on how to stop yelling at your kids and start connecting instead.
Kids are not naturally good listeners. They need to be taught how to listen and what to listen for. This is especially true for younger kids.
The best way to get a child's attention is by being unpredictable.
Here are some creative ways to do this:
Put on a costume (a jester, a pirate, a witch). Use the "Who's there?" game. Walk around the room and make different noises as you move. Play a magic trick or read them a book together.
Some children love to help with household chores like dusting or washing dishes. Ask your child what they would like to do today and offer it up! If they are more inclined to play, have them help you cook dinner or set the table for dinner.
Listening is a form of deep engagement. It's an act that requires us to give our full attention to what the speaker is saying, and it can be a tool for building relationships. It’s for these reasons that listening has been dubbed "the new love language."
A person who is focused on what someone else is saying tells the speaker how much they care, which in turn makes the speaker feel valued and cared for.
In order to be successful in your conversations, you'll want to take the time to really listen to what people are saying.
Reflect on what someone is telling you. Let them know that what they are sharing is important to you. This shows that you care and are listening to them.
Look for cues in their body language or verbal cues, and if they seem uncomfortable, ask why.
If they seem interested in what someone else is saying, ask them who it is or what they believe the other person said.
If a person sounds frustrated with your response, stop talking and ask them what they want to talk about.
Laughing out loud often makes people feel comfortable and open up, so if you're laughing at a funny joke, ask them to tell you more. Laughter is contagious and can help the conversation along.
Studying the way children learn language is a fascinating process. When they hear something that sounds like a word, they will try to mimic it by saying it themselves.
They will also try to say any words they hear that sound even slightly similar. In order to learn, a child needs to hear a word repeated over and over again in order for them to fully understand.
Children also need to see words or hear the sound of someone saying a word in order for them to have an understanding of what it means. They will do this by pointing at words they want you to repeat and then they will say the word themselves. They will also use gestures such as pointing and pulling to help them fully understand a word and put it into their own words.
Knowing this, you will understand why your child throws tantrums, yells when they don’t get what they want, and even be destructive or physically abusive because the tendency is that they have learned it through watching and mimicking what the adults do, which in their understanding is the way to communicate what they think and feel.
In order to get kids to listen, you have to change your tone and language. The way that you speak with them is important because it influences their behavior.
You should also try not to yell at them as this will only make them feel even more frustrated and they might not listen to you.
You should also be aware of the way that you are speaking with your kids and make sure that they are listening to you.
If they are not listening, then you should try rewording what you are saying or start from the beginning again.
You can also use repetition and get them to repeat after you to make sure that they have understood what is being said and if they still didn't understand then move on to another activity and try again later.
We live in a world where people are constantly communicating with one another. Whether it be through text messages, social media, or even a phone call, it is easy to get lost in the hustle and bustle of everyday life. However, there is an important skill that we often forget to teach children:listening.
Listening is not only important for children but also for adults who are trying to better themselves.
Listening can help you understand what someone else is saying, or it can help you understand what you are saying so that you can better articulate your thoughts and feelings.
Listening also teaches children about empathy which can lead to understanding why other people do certain things and how they may feel about certain topics or situations.
Ultimately, listening teaches children about compassion which will make them more understanding of others and how different people may feel in a certain situation.
Parents should always try to find a way to control their anger. This is important because when they are angry, they are not able to think clearly and they might do something that they will regret later.
A quiet space in the home is a place where you can escape from the noise of life. It is a place where you can go when you need time to yourself or time to recuperate. A quiet space in your home can be as simple as a bedroom with a door that closes, or it can be an entire room dedicated for this purpose.
One of the most important things that a parent can do is to stay calm.
We're not saying that you should never get angry or frustrated with your children, but when you do, try to take a deep breath before you say anything.
If you are having trouble controlling your anger, then it may be best for you to leave the room and come back later when you have calmed down.
Successfully managing your children's behavior requires patience and consistency.
No matter what happens, we want to make sure that we’re setting an example for our children.
Have you figured out how to stop yelling at your kids and have them cooperate? We'd love to hear and learn from your experience! Leave a comment below.
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