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Kids Love Language Parents Should Master

January 14, 2022 8 min read

Kids Love Language

The Complete Guide to Kids Love Language and How it is Impacting the Way Parents Raise Kids in Modern Society

The love language for kids is a great tool to help parents understand their children and to teach them how to identify love in different ways.

It's not just about the words we say, it's also about the actions we take. The love language can help us understand what our children need and want in order to feel loved, which will in turn make them more confident and happy.

This article will give you an overview of the complete guide to kids love language and how it is impacting the way parents raise kids in modern society.

What is Kids Love Language?

Kids love language differs from person to person and is unique to each individual. It is important for parents to understand what their child's love language is and how they identify love. This will help them know what their child needs and also help them develop a better relationship with their child.

The love languages are discovered by Gary Chapman in the 1980s. It is a theory that identifies the different ways in which people express and receive love. The five love languages are:

1. Words of affirmation

Among the five love languages, the most common one is words of affirmation. This love language emphasizes vocal and verbal expression and can be easily recognized.

If you give and receive love through words of affirmation, then you probably notice the details of other people's lives. Your kid might be washing their hands before eating, which is a good behavior, and you compliment it with words of appreciation. You'll remember to ask about or say something nice about your kids pet and you'll be in a position to tell them how great their smiling is.

Words of affirmation are statements to communicate your love, appreciation, and understanding for someone. The happy words are used to cheer someone up. What's more, compliments and encouragement don't need to be said directly. A simple hand-written note is appreciated just as much as a personal phone call (and sometimes more).

Sentences like "I love you" or "You are enough" will strengthen how you communicate with your child. They will know that you care about them and feel appreciated. Small moments of acknowledgement can have a huge effect on our children, making them feel more valued and appreciated.

Words of Affirmation Kids Love Language Chubibi Blogs

Here are some examples of words of affirmation your kids would love to hear from you.

  • "You are doing such a great job. I’m really proud of you."

  • "You are one of my favorite people to be around."

  • "You are so special to me."

  • "You are the best."

  • "Your support means so much to me."

  • "You’re an inspiration!"

  • "Everything is better when you're here."

  • "I’m so thankful to have you in my life."

  • "It impressed me when you..."

  • "Thank you for..."

  • "I appreciate it when you..."

  • "I couldn't do this without you."

  • "I really love the new outfit. It looks great on you!"

  • "I'm so lucky to be with you."

  • "I’m so thankful to have you in my life."

  • "It impressed me when you..."

  • "Thank you for..."

Negatively worded comments can feel like a knife to the heart for those who thrive on words of affirmation. Gaslighting, narcissism, and emotional abuse can also cause immense pain for people of this type.

The words of affirmation people love this language because words have a huge impact on them. Harsh words can easily take a toll, so be mindful of how you speak to them!

2. Quality time

One of the five love languages is quality time, or being together. When you express your affection by spending time with your loved one, it shows that you really care.

When you're with your child, you put your cell phone, tablet, and other distractions down. You turn to them and focus on them—you pay attention to what they have to say and provide input from yourself as well. Doing this will make your child feel important, loved, and special—like you were intentional in setting this time aside for them.

Quality Time Kids Love Language Chubibi Blogs

Here are some examples on how you can show your quality time child that you love them:

Making eye contact when talking to kids

When you look at your child in the eyes, it communicates that they are important to you. You'll be able to listen, connect and love someone fully when you meet their gaze. This technique is also a good way to show you care about them and what they have to say.

Use your active listening skills

Good parents need to know how to actively listen. Not many people feel natural doing this, but it's a loving thing you can do for your children. So instead of thinking about yourself too much, try listening to what your kids have to say and understand their feelings as well

When you're spending quality time with kids, try these active listening skills:

  • Pay attention to what they're saying.

  • Lean in slightly.

  • Affirm what they are saying.

  • Ask thoughtful questions.

  • You might try to avoid giving too much advice, unless they ask for it.

  • You may want to try considering how you might handle the same situation, as a kid.

Quality time-children want you to fully understand them and be compassionate. They don't always want you to fix their problems and it's important not to take things too personally.

Don't ignore quality for the sake of quantity

Don't worry so much about how much time you spend with your kids or things like finding the best way to balance life and work. It's more important that when you're spending time together, you pay attention and prioritize what you're saying, doing, and treating them like they matter. And with so much going on in your life, it can be tough to find time for a one-on-one conversation. But it's important to make the effort and take that time. Those conversations teach kids that we enjoy their company and we know they love us too.

Plan a date and daily “together” time with your kids

Last-minute dinner plans are always fun, especially when you're with that special kid in your life who's the best time partner. It has been found that when a parent and a kid do something spontaneous together, it often becomes their 'thing'. This is because people get in the habit of doing things they're comfortable with.

Instead of doing the same old everyday, it's time to be more proactive about spending quality time with your child. The anticipation of this will speak love to them in a powerful way.

You might want to consider engaging with your child on a daily basis. Try spending time together in the morning, reading the Sunday comics every week, or praying together. It's often easy to forget about small & simple things in a busy day. Connecting with your child in a small way every day will make them feel loved and appreciated, while also giving them something to look forward to.

Be there for your child

When you child is feeling sad and needs a comforting hug, all you need to do is be there and spend some quality time together. Even though you can't take all the discomfort away, you can show that you're there when they need support.

3. Receiving gifts

It goes without saying that giving a token of love, especially in the form of a thoughtful gift, is one of the most important aspects of relationships. What’s not clear is that there are many different kinds of love languages. Consider making your loved ones feel special by presenting them with one or more tokens that speak to their individual preference.

Receiving Gifts Kids Love Language Chubibi Blogs

In the 5 Love Languages book, Williams does a really good job of explaining that giving gifts is more about how much thought and care went into them than just how much money you spent. A child who feels loved by receiving gifts might treasure that gift more than someone who verbally expresses their love for them. Every time they see it, it will remind them that they are cared about.

4. Acts of service

Mahatma Gandhi once said “The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others”.

No doubts, most parents have been doing this all their life since pregnancy started.

Acts of service are a great way to show your kids some love, though it’s often time consuming and exhausting. Whether it's giving them a haircut or cooking them their favorite dish, or cleaning their mess, you'll see them smile, which is worth it.

Here are some Act of Service Ideas for Parents:

  • Help them clean-up or decorate their room or personal space sometimes.

  • Sew their torn favorite clothes or wash their favorite shoes.

  • Prepare them their favorite dishes.

  • Assist them with their school projects or homework.

  • Read them stories at bed time and put them to sleep with your lullaby.

Acts of Service Kids Love Language Chubibi Blogs

5. Physical touch

Lots of research has shown that kids who are showed a lot of physical affection grow up happier and healthier emotionally. They may even show better intellectual development if they're stimulated early on.

Your children with the love language "physical touch" feel like their parents love them more when they spend more time close to them; hugs, kisses, close embraces, pats on the shoulder. It's like true love is through physical displays.

All they want is to be close to their mom & dad. Being separated can make your child feel unloved

You might think it is fine to hug your kid once in a while and things are going well, but you want to make sure you are still showing them love. In other words, give them a hug with meaning!

Physical Touch Love Language Chubibi Blogs

How to Identify Your Kids Love Language?

You might be wondering what your kid's love language is, so you can show them more love, in ways they can truly appreciate.

Know your kids love language by taking the 5 love languages quiz.

Each person has their own primary love language. If you want to know your child’s, you could politely ask what they would like to do on a date with you or what they would like for their birthday.

Being aware of the 5 love languages your kids may prefer, you can try to spend ample time with them each day to identify their preferred approaches in communicating your love to them.

The Benefits of Learning and Embracing Your Kids Love Language

Love Language Acts of Service Chubibi Blogs

Parents must learn their kids’ love language so that they can be aware of what it is that makes their child feel loved. This will help the parent better understand the needs of their child and know how to show them love in a way they can understand.

Regardless of your child's primary love language, always make an effort to communicate your love to them in five languages.

Avoid the mistake of giving your child a present and neglecting to use other love languages.

Nurturing our kids with all five love languages is a primary role for parents, so our children will learn how to give and receive love to different people they meet as they grow up.

We love to hear from you and learn from your ways in how you show your kids you love them. Please share your thoughts on the comment section below.

 


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